Sometimes being a stay at home mom can be the most depressing job ever. I know what you are thinking
“How dare you say that it’s depressing to be home with your precious cherubs!”
“You’ll never get these days back!”
“You’re going to miss this.”
Listen Susan, I know! I know that I am so lucky that I get to stay home. I love being here to do things with my kids. I am so thankful that our family can swing this. I love being involved in their lives. I’ve been a working mom, so I remember how much I missed out on, and I don’t want that.
But, damn. Some days it’s really freaking hard. When you’ve listened to a two year old scream all day in some language that you don’t understand. When you are all touched out because someone needs to climb all over you every second of the day. When trying to get a task like grocery shopping done becomes a 3 hour tour because you have to fight with a kid the whole time. IT’S FREAKING HARD.
Some days you just want to lay in bed, or sleep in, or not share your food or not have to chase a kid so that you can change their diaper for the 85th time that day. Some days we just want to feel sane, read a book, go to the gym without a kid screaming in the playroom and we don’t have that option because our job is to be their mom and on task 24/7.
Sometimes I fantasize about going and getting a job. Not so that I can make more money, or because we need me to, but because I miss being an adult!
Drinking coffee while I drive to work?
Dressing in actual clothes?
Talking to people that are not two years old?
Having something on my mind beside potty training?
Doesn’t it sound like magic voodoo?
But, also. I love these kids. I want to drive them to practice and never miss a softball game. I want to be able to enroll the baby in dance when she gets older, the older two didn’t get that option because I had to work. I love not stressing over daycare when they are sick or have a snowday. Dr. Visits? Yes. I can always be there. The reasons why I’m a stay at home mom definitely outweigh the reasons not to (for me, anyway!)
However, I know that I have to take better care of myself when I’m at home because my family deserves a better me.
Here are some things I am focusing on:
- Getting away from the kids at least once a week to take a break and regroup. This may be a date night, or it may be sending them to my moms, or it may just be getting a babysitter for the afternoon. I just need a little bit of time to be something other than someones snack bitch.
- Realize my dreams and follow my passion. I love writing. That’s why I started this blog. I want to get my thoughts out on paper and maybe help someone else along the way by sharing my story. I don’t know what the future holds for this passion, but I do know that I can not bury it under my dirty laundry and housework and hope that I get to it eventually. If you have dreams, follow them. Make an effort. There is no reason why you can’t be a mom (working or not) and do what you love at the same time.
- Take care of me! I can’t be the best version on myself for my family if I don’t take care of myself. I try to go the gym 3-5 days a week. I drink +90 ounces of water daily. I try to shower daily and get 8 hours of sleep a night. I eat relatively clean, (but still love potatoes too much). I’m trying to just take care of me the best way I know how.
Even though we are moms and we are doing the MOST IMPORTANT WORK by being moms, we still need to take care of ourselves. If you need to get a weekly babysitter, do it. If you need to join a gym with childcare, YES! If you need to journal your feelings during nap-time, go for it. If you need to go get on anti-depressants because you are having a hard time, there is no shame in this! Do what you need to do to be a better you. Your family deserves this.
Being a stay at home mom is hard and feels super isolating at times. This isn’t something we hear about before we take on the task. We see the pictures on facebook of parents playing with their kids at the park and taking them to the zoo during the week and that’s what we think we are getting into. No one posts on social media that they had trouble getting out of bed that day or that they feel like they aren’t contributing anything to their family. Or that they haven’t spoken to an adult in 3 days. The main reason why I go to the gym is so I can see other adults. If I didn’t, I would go days without leaving this house. It’s hard to not be around other adults. Being a mom 24/7 can feel thankless something, but remember why you started staying home in the first place.
How do you keep yourself from going crazy when/ you are tried as a mother? Any other stay at home moms feel like I do? (please tell me I’m not alone!)