Oh my goodness. Hi. Hello. The world is closed. So… weird, right? I’m on day 37 of social distancing. I still maintain that I am definitely an introvert and I really do enjoy being at home, but maybe only on my own terms. I sure do miss buying overpriced coffee and wandering around Hobby Lobby and TJ Maxx while my children are at SCHOOL. Not at home with me every freaking day. Asking me to open fruit snacks and complaining about being bored. I do not love asking 867935626235.2 times a day if all of their school assignments have been turned in. I am not made for the homeschool life at all. I have a senior that is missing so many lasts. I have a 7th grader that lives for sports and is a social butterfly. I should be complaining about how much time we are spending at the ball field right now. AND we have a 3 year old that doesn’t understand what is going on, but she knows that school is closed and she does dance classes on mommy’s laptop now.
When all of this started, I was a little bit excited. What! 2 weeks at home! “I’m going to finish projects and get caught up and oh my gosh I’m going to be so productive.” Uh, nope. Actually I’m going to spend this time worrying about my kids and their sanity and maybe cry 8 times a day because everything is so fucked.
I have to do lists and those items just move from one day to the next. It’s been a month and I haven’t decluttered our entire house or written a novel or made so many things for my flea market booths that they will be overflowing. I haven’t restocked my etsy shop or lost 12 pounds or anything. Hell, this is the second blog post I’ve even attempted. And I HATE that but some things are more important.
It’s ok that I haven’t changed the world, because instead I’ve embraced so many things. I’ve spent time with my kids. We have baked and hung out and talked. I’ve played with my toddler. We had smores around the fire pit. We have talked about feelings and fears and anxiety and depression. We have laughed. We took pandemic porch pictures.
My car isn’t racking up a zillion miles because it’s sitting instead of running to town 2-3 times a day. The gas I’m saving is crazy.
I’ve exercised 40 days in a row.
We are eating healthier because we aren’t eating out, basically ever. We have gotten take out 2 times in over a month. I am sick of cooking my own meals, but my body appreciates it.
We aren’t spending a ton of money because I’m not running to walmart 2 times a week and buying random impulse things. I make a list throughout the week and then do grocery pickup.
Everyone is getting more sleep. I love not getting up at 6:30 in the morning. I’m going to be spoiled and ruined when school starts again.
A lot of these changes are going to come into play with how I live my life after this is over. There are things I love and things I took for granted (like date nights with my hubby!).
It’s easy to look at this situation and think of all the downsides. What we are missing out on. What we have had taken away. (prom, graduation, vacations, etc.) but try to be grateful too. We are getting a chance to slow down in at least one area of our lives.
However, it’s ok to be sad too. Crying is ok. Being sad and angry is ok. Your feelings are valid and even though other people have it worse than you, that doesn’t dismiss your feelings. Own them. Deal with them and then take a deep breath and think about all the things you have to be thankful for. You can do hard things. We are going to make it through this.
How are you doing?