I was just reading a social media post where a man was trying to figure out a gift for his wife for Valentine’s Day. Several of the women in the group asked him “What’s her love language?” And he didn’t have an answer for that question. He was basically told to go find out and then come back to ask for suggestions. I’m going to say this is solid advice because some of the gifts suggested were definitely not something I would want to receive.
The Five Love Languages is a book written by Gary Chapman. Basically what he writes about is the fact that everyone feels love differently. It’s either words of affirmation (my language), receiving gifts, physical touch, acts of service or quality time. Each of these categories explains how different people feel loved differently. If you know how you best receive love and how to best love your partner (or your kids!) then you will know how to show them that you care in a way that means the most to them. Therefore, you are able to fill their “love tank”.
My language is words of affirmation meaning that I love it when my husband tells me that I am appreciated or he tells me that I am pretty. Really any kind of heartfelt words, make me feel loved. My lowest category is receiving gifts. Yes, I think it’s nice to receive a gift, but it’s not the biggest thing to me. For Christmas this year and my birthday I told my husband not to buy me anything. There are a couple of things I bought for myself that I wanted but the whole gift giving process is just not important to me.
If you haven’t read this book I highly encourage you to. Its been a few years since I’ve read it, but for the sake of curiosity I just re-took the test and not surprisingly Words of Affirmation was the highest score (12) and Receiving Gifts was 1. I had my husband take the test when we were dating because I really think it helps build a strong foundation for a relationship. Its a real eyeopener to understand your needs and needs of those that you love the most.
Do you know your love language? You can take the free test here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/